Who Are We?
by Tigerdust
Summary: The highly anticipated third entry into the Questioning Death saga. A question: Does Faith make things better or worse? Slash in the Buffyverse, how I love ye!


--------Creator's Note-------

The third installment of the Questioning Death Saga. The reason I didn't want this to be Chapter 3 was because these follow no particular chronological order in Buffyverse (except their own of course). They aren't chapters as much as seperate stories with the same themes. And convenient titles.

2 Handy Notes: _Italicized_ is used when two characters converse; Underline happens when Angelus is talking, mostly to Angel (he's special because he's not quite human and doesn't normally converse after Angel gets a soul-also cause he was sexier in those leather pants).

And, since we last met, my birth certificate still does not say Joss Whedon and right now I'm poorer than a mud brick in the middle of a pyramid. If you sue me, I will laugh as you also end up paying both my unemployment and our lawyer bills.

And things from here on out kind of spin into their own world, so reviews/new character ideas are appreciated. Authors like me tend to give out baked goods to the first fifty reviewers!

------On With the Show!----------

_Walk me home, Xander?_

Her look had a vaguely suggestive tint to it. But then, when did Faith not have a suggestive look on her face? It was almost as if she saw a world full of only cynical things. And now she was looking at Xander. The one that never argued with her.

_Sure. I guess I can protect you from anything out there_. He yawned and flexed in a silly sort of way and she giggled back sharply.

_That's my line._

_You can't always be the slayer. Sometimes we men gotta be ourselves too._ Buffy and Willow looked over at the same time, lost in their own world as usual. The thick brown dust monger they had been reading collapsed and made a silent thud. Their arched eyebrows and matching stares made Xander feel a bit self-conscious. He really hated to be noticed sometimes. Working the back of the room was so much easier than the front. _Well, shall we?_

_Sorry, B, I'm borrowing your boyfriend for a minute._

_Just be sure to have him back by morning._

_You crazy kids._

_Thank you Buffy, Willow. Show's over for tonight_. Xander's face was turning bright red. How did Faith always manage to get right under his skin?

The walk home was as uneventful as the walk for a Slayer and her mortal friend could be at 3 am in dear Sunny dale. Most of the monsters didn't even bother Xander anymore. He had been, at the best times, a waste in the more integral of their schemes and well, he honestly preferred to lie low. He didn't like worrying his girls more than they already were. Willow's plate these days were even fuller than Buffy's. She would often complain of aches in her magical muscles. Xander, supportive as ever, brewed her tea and avoided questions about his home life. He couldn't bear to tell her what his dad had done with that screwdriver to his nails; asking questions about Buffy, about Angelus, about Willow. One day he'll go too far. Angelus saw that power in me; why can't I see it in myself? Xander shivered a little.

_You can't tell me you're cold, Xan. Not in California in the middle of summer._

_Just thinking._

_You've been doin' a lot of that recently._

_You noticed?_

_Can't help but not to notice._ Faith leaned up against a tree trunk and Xander began to pace. _Wanna talk about it?_ Those eyes; that invitation. It drove him wild. She was strong. Whatever Buffy had wasn't this; wasn't intoxicating like this.

_It's complicated._

_Try me._

_Did you ever know...Did you ever think...Has something ever...Man, this isn't coming out right._

_Calm down, Xan, you're pacing. I don't think I've ever seen you like this._

_It's not a side of me I show very often._

_I see a lot of sides of you Xander Harris. Each one more intriguing than the next. Come upstairs and have some coffee with me._

_I'm not sure that's a good idea._

_Why not?_ Her lips were just the tiniest bit apart.

_I can't think of a good reason. Yes, I can._

_Come up and have coffee. Don't make me do the woman thing, Xander._

_Alright, but just one cup._

That one cup turned into two cups. A glass of beer. Low lights and two Heinekens reflecting in the dawn as Xander sighed and broke down. That's when he saw Faith for who she was. She was Buffy that first evening at the Bronze when Willow was attacked. She was the Buffy who railed against the Watcher's council and defended him. She was the Buffy he had always wanted. And now, here she was, her spicy tongue engrossed in his cavities.

Partial phrases rang through his head as his hands crossed to the small of her back and his head tilted back her neck. Xander, you fool didn't even have a ghost of a chance to finish. She had wiped a pain, a doubt, an insincerity from his mind. He could honestly believe a girl like her could want a guy like him. It wasn't hard. Well, actually it was.

Her whispered invitation to bed didn't take long. Her bedroom was unnaturally dark and her bed unkempt. If she hadn't been such a tomboy then Xander might have feigned shock. When she pushed him on the bed; something began to not feel so right. Her kiss was still the same and his response was just as urgent. The feeling of her in his arms and the way his clothes ripped off. Everything on the outside was right and some things on the inside were exhilarated by current events.

But looking into her eyes as his boxers slid down and her hands encompassed his willing member made him stop. _Maybe we shouldn't._

_Don't start what you can't finish, Xan_. Her elbows tightened firm on his ribs and pushed him back down.

_This isn't right, Faith._

_We deserve just as much happiness as Buffy. And you have to admit this makes you pretty damn happy._ The best way to describe what happened next was epic. Faith leapt onto her arms, which were now on either side of Xander and she landed on top of him, somewhere between gentle and punishing. _I'll make you happy._

_You can't make me happy. I doubt it could ever be that way._

_Well, then, we'll at least have tonight._ Faith preceded to slip herself onto Xander and the rush of his cock entering her hole sent two messages through his spine. One was of the pleasure of her spasm and her rocking back and forward on him. She hadn't anticipated his largeness obviously, nor did she mind not using protection. Most men would have been flattered. Most men weren't Xander Harris.

The second thought was one of panic; like there was something inside of him that didn't want this. Something that knew this substitute of strength just wasn't right. And that one thing knew the word. The secret word that was the door to his heart and the very core of whatever it was that controlled him.

_Angelus_. All he had to do was whisper it and a howl ripped through the room. It didn't come from Xander or Faith and neither heard it, but something did happen. As far as Faith could remember, she awoke attached to the light on the ceiling while being held there by some force. Xander didn't seem to pay her any attention as he reached for his jeans and as he left all he could hear was her questioning plea.

He turned and looked at the bare, nubile raven beauty hanging from the ceiling. _Next time when I say it's not a good idea; just listen Faith_. Xander closed his eyes momentarily and she awoke sprawled on the bed, still naked and having been unconscious for a solid six hours.

----Los Angeles, Three Days Later------

_Angel, babe, you don't look so good. What's wrong?_

Other than being called babe by someone dressed worse than a used car salesman?

Hush Demon.

I have a name you know. Use it.

_Nothing Lorne._

_No, there's something. In fact, this isn't the first time._

He's too nosy for his own good.

_I've just been working too hard._

_Don't kid a kidder, angel cakes._ All Angelus did in response was to growl. Something that Angel actually wanted to do as well, but he held it back and allowed it to translate into a sigh.

_Lorne..._

_Fine, fine. But what else am I here for? Just a few bars or maybe a drink?_

Angel didn't have to look in a drink to know what he was thinking of. He was thinking about...

_It's about him, isn't it._

_Him who?_

Lorne just smiled. _Do me a favor and look into this candle quickly._

Angel complied, slight perplexed. _And the point?_

_Just shush for a second and you'll see_. Lorne scuttled about behind the bar with a hand over the flame and then he reappeared with a brief ha.

_Ha what?_

_Patience is a virtue, Angel_. He stirred the wax in the blood red substance in the hurricane glass. He mumbled again patience in a hiss and the glass replied with steam. _Now look._

At first, Angel didn't see anything but fog. But then a picture came through. He saw the hate and destruction in a pair of eyes that Angelus shuddered at. But he wouldn't believe. Lorne's hand snapped him out of the dilemma warring inside.

_Now, you gonna tell me everything's alright, Angel?_

_I have to go Lorne._

_Just make sure to call Cordy first._

_-------_Angel's Convertible, 3 Hours Later------

_What do you mean you're going to Sunny dale? Do you know how much work you have?_

_Calm down, Cordelia._ Angel could barely think over the roar of his own engine; let alone Cordy's harping. _You, Wesley, and Gunn are well-equipped to handle anything you need to while I'm gone._

_But you ARE Angel Investigations. You can't just go and leave anytime you want!_

_It's something I have to take care of Cordy. Do you trust me?_

The line went quiet for a second. _You've never called me Cordy before._

He thought carefully for words so she wouldn't get the wrong idea. _Then you know it's serious. Cordelia, I have faith in you three. What I have to do is incredibly important. LA isn't going to fall into hell this weekend or anytime soon, so don't panic. I'll be back_. He clicked End on his cell phone before Cordy had the option of asking what Lorne had told Angel.

The roads back to Sunnydale didn't offer much scenery. In the pale moon light; Angel began to form a rough plan and answer some rough questions. Or at least, probe a person he didn't like very much. He and his demon had their first conversation through fields of golden grass accentuated by darkness.

What do you know about this?

Angelus chuckled in the back of Angel's mind. My, demanding this evening aren't we? Nothing. But this is better than anything I've thought about. It's just what you deserve.

How can you say that?

Come on. You didn't think one bout of heroics could undue all that damage I caused, could you?

It's a process.

And he's just a boy.

No, he's more than that now.

How sweet. And what are you going to do? Protect him from himself? You know as well as I not even his witch friend will be able to stop him.

Then I will have to.

You don't have the heart for it, Angel. You need me to talk to him.

I don't need you for anything.

You will.

-------Sunnydale, Some Odd Hours Later-------

It was an embarrassment, in all reality. The slayers walked through the dead graveyard, hello oxymoron thought Buffy. I should never try to narrate my own stuff.

_B, what are we doing out here? There's been nothing this week. No demons, no prophecies, no weirdness at all._ Well, except for Xander, but he's still around and not talking to me, she thought.

_I hate to agree with Faith, but there's been absolutely no baddies this week. Even if it's off; maybe it's someone giving us a well-deserved little break._

_Heroes don't get breaks Willow._ The slamming car door turned Buffy's eyes and then she saw her Angel. She could barely breathe the name and released it in an almost silent sigh.

_God, Buff, I've never seen you swoon before._

_Angel, what are you?_ Angel stopped her with his hand in a cold and business-like manner. _Not now Buffy. Willow, Faith_. He nodded and they nodded back. _Where is Xander?_

_Xander went home. He had a big...test.._. Comprehension dawned on Buffy's face. _You hate Xander._

_I don't have time for this Buffy. Willow, are you sure he's at home? Take me there._

_That's not a good idea. His parent's won't._

_I don't give a damn what his parents think._

_They abuse him. You might need to._

Angel's eye met Faith's for the first time. The air stood still for a few seconds as Angel digested.

_I wish I weren't sure, Angel._

_But how could you know that?_ Willow whispered so slightly it took vampiric hearing a few seconds to even register it.

_And that's what you must have been working on._

_No, no. It was a protection spell for Xander. Angel, do you know something we don't? Something about Xander?_

More so than you girls could imagine. _Just a hunch from Lorne._

_Lorne is your seer?_

_You know Lorne?_

_Jenny did. She met him a year before she moved to Sunny dale. It says in her diary that she foretold her death and your being sent into hell. But that he was short on details._

_That sounds like him. Come with me Willow and you Faith, I think you have things to tell me._

_What about me?_

_Buffy, I need you to research. I'm not sure what exactly but anything about mortal humans gaining...hell, I'm not even sure what. Just go do research. Tell Giles that I'm worried about a connection Xander and I might have. Something that could destroy the world._

_Tell me what's going on._

_We don't have time Buffy. I need your research, your magick, and your story. Get in the car girls._

Buffy borrowed the Faith mobile begrudgingly as Willow directed a speeding Angel down the road. Faith didn't say a word until they came to a stop in front of the Harris house. Willow held her breath as a shrieking father talked down to his wife.

_Anthony Harris, I presume?_ Willow slowly nodded as a tear rolled down her cheek.

_He was always so brave about...his...circumstances._

_I saw these bruises under his arm when he came up to my place. We were making out and he lost his shirt. I wasn't sure what they were or what to think, but this all makes sense; too much sense._

_Willow, I want to get him out tonight. Is there a back way in?_

_He sleeps in the basement now. Go behind the back neighbor's house and through a hole in the gate. He leaves the window unlocked, just in case. Angel, so many times, I wanted to help him... _Willow begged for his belief in silent sorrow.

_You're helping him now. Faith, you have ten minutes to get him and as much useful gear as you can out of there. Then the four of us are going to Los Angeles and leaving this place. Faith, I want you to train with me. If that's what you want. They don't really need two slayers here._

_Let me think while I raid_. Faith slipped out of the car and down the street, making an appropriate right. Willow didn't say a word to Angel, although she tried to form a sentence many times. Minutes dragged on.

_Nine flat._ Faith threw a duffel bag into the trunk._ He was prepared, but he wasn't there, Angel._ Angelus growled. Sure you don't need me?

_Faith, stay here in case he comes back. You can probably hide in a tree nearby and not be noticed. Willow, I need a locater spell._

_I've only done one of those Angel. And that was on Halloween._

_Look at me, Willow. You are strong and you love Xander very much. The time has come to put away whatever guilt or doubt you might feel. You have the strength. Find him._

Willow closed her eyes and tried to let those negative feelings flow out of her. She thought of Xander and a white tear rolled down her cheeks. A few words whispered in Latin set the car aglow in gentle white and flying toward a part of town only Angelus had ever scene. Vampires called it the warehouse district and most didn't see any merit in being there anyways.

The car drifted to a stop in gravel ten feet from an abandoned house missing a cascading multitude of windows. An invisible breeze seemed to run through the entire place and Angel shivered in spite of his vampiric capabilities. _Are you tired Willow?_

_Not if I think of him._

_Good, because I have a large favor to ask._

_Anything Angel._

_Put a defense spell around this car and that building that he is in. I also want you to think about this. Think about where you want to be. I respect your friendship with Buffy and your love for Xander. I almost hesitate in asking, but I must say it. I need you in LA just as much as she needs you here. Think about it._

_I won't make promises either way. Just keep him safe Angel._

_Right._ The words stuck in his throat as he exited the car and let emotion flow through his body. His face slowed to a halt in changing. His face was still his own, and yet his veiny arms and claws remained. Everything up to his neck had changed and the vein of emotions had halted at the base of his chin. Something was very wrong.

Inside was eerie and bare. All seemed normal. A teenager sitting in a chair and swiveling around with a couple of beer bottles lined at his feet. But all wasn't normal. There was a blaise menace hanging from Xander's eyes. Angel wanted to rush in and save him, but knew that would never do at all.

_Xander._

_Oh, it's you._ Xander paid no attention to Angel. He swung back around and let the bottles float around in his brain. They landed somewhere high on three beams and then he used the current bottle to hit the floating ones mid-air. A slight stream of dark brown liquid pulsed to the floor and Angel could hear the tinkering crunch of more glass under his boots.

_Willow is worried about you. It seems that you told her you had a big test._

_She trusts me too much._

_Did you ever give her a reason not to?_

_Cut the crap, Angel. Why are you here?_

_You._

_I thought I said to cut the crap._

_Lorne had a vision._

_I'm touched. Do you want a media conference?_

_You don't even know who Lorne is._

_It doesn't matter. So what was this vision? And what does it have to do with torturing me?_

_You think I'm enjoying this?_

_Didn't you always get a certain **pleasure** out of torturing me?_

_Don't do that Xander._ Angelus howled, half in laughter and half in lust.

_I won't ask you if you know what it's like to feel pain or denial. We both know that you wouldn't lie or make up bullshit anyways. But tell me just one thing Angel. Do you ever miss being able to have sex?_

_Where's this coming from?_

Xander jumped off his chair. _You tell me._

_I'm sure I don't know._

_Oh, sure you do Angel. You're the king of mixed signals anyways, right?_ The building began to groan under an invisible weight and Willow whispered a bit in pain.

_Screw Buffy and lose your soul. Screw me and nothing happens. I try to screw a girl and somehow end up whispering your name. And liking it. You forced that part of my life to be over and now, now you have the audacity to try and show up and play the hero. And for what, because the world might end? Fuck you, Angel, and all you stand for. Let the world save itself for once._

_You can't mean that. The Xander I know doesn't mean that._

_Who's this Xander you claim still exists, huh?_

_The Xander that I remember had a goofy smile and a sharp tongue. The Xander that I remember always wore his favorite pair of Levis on missions. The Xander that I remember hated vampires and anything in the darkness. The Xander I know stands up for what is right._

_Is that an invitation to kill you?_

_That's an invitation to recognize what Angelus has done to you, to me, to everyone._

_You say it all like it's a bad thing Angel. What was so wrong with Angelus? What makes you so much better a man and not just a coward?_

_Redemption, hope, faith, kindness. Take your pick._

_A bullshit answer. I'm done talking to you._ Xander turned his head away and then back ever so briefly to show Angel a horrid smile. Angel saw the steel beam breaking from above Xander's head and heading directly for him. What he didn't see was the small electric spark that Xander had attached to the air. Angel wondered what he had gotten himself into as the spark enclosed him on the arm and the beam hit him square in the chest.

Something rolled out of Angel's pocket. It was roughly of the same size and weight as a cherry bomb and it bemused Xander. _Well, so you didn't just come to talk then? I didn't know you had it in you Angel. I wonder what would happen if I lit the sucker._ Xander took a match out from his tennis shoes and lit it, placing it right on top of the twisted metal that Angel was sandwiched in.

_You know, Xander, there is one more thing the old you would never have done that you overlooked._

_And what was that?_ Xander's face whispered against Angel's ear.

_The old you would never have lit a foreign object without first asking what it did._ Smoke filled the room and Angel began to count the seconds as a haze filled the part of Xander where the power came from. Angel's face finished changed and he felt strong again

_What have you done?_

_I just want to talk to you._ The steel melted away from Angel's body. _I love the fact you have power even though we don't know why. I respect the fact you've kept it hidden and only used it in brief glimpses. In that respect, you were always very wise._

_So what's the difference now?_

_The difference is that I was shown your power destroying the world. And it wasn't the world I gave a hoot about. They shun people like me Xander. Hell, I shun people like me most days. Why do you think I brood about all the time?_

_To give William something to complain about._

_You didn't call him Spike._

_He asked me not to._ Time was running low.

_I want you to know that whatever you had with Angelus..._

_Are you going to tell me none of that was real?_

If that's what he says; then I'll personally kick his ass, soul or not. A double stepped out from behind Angel.

Angelus and Xander met. _You left me._

You sent me to hell.

_Touche._

Alex, there is something inside of you that I found very enticing. And my counterpart, though he does have quite a few flaws, Angel snorted, is in control again. If it were me; I'd stop nothing short of making you my childe, my equal. You have a great potential. Somewhere along the line of screwing you; I felt something. I almost regret that except that it might possibly be beyond love.

_You've tried to destroy everything. I want to believe_. The flame went out and the smoke left the building rapidly. The glass cherry bomb rolled off and shattered. Xander found himself in Angel's arms, struggling._ Another trick?_

_No trick. I just wanted to show you what is real, what is possible with my soul. I wanted you to see that even though I've changed that this hasn't._

Angel faced Xander away from him and bent down towards the back of his neck. His fangs brushed against Xander's shoulder blade and a small shiver escaped Xander's lips. All he could breathe was the word _Don't_ and Angel backed away one step.

Xander turned, shaking and near tears. Angel took him and kissed his eyes. _For every tear I wasn't there for then; I want to be with you for now_.

Xander used his teeth to begin popping the buttons on Angel's shirt and Angel complied by leaning back on a nearby metal staircase. His raven locks dipped down to Angel's belt line and his tongue found its way into Angel's zipper. He tasted the vampire's souled cock for the first time. Human and almost alive; it was Angel's turn to shiver. Angel's head tossed backwards as Xander worked his way up and down Angel's marble chest. The road map in his tongue remembered every tender crease and line in Angel and he exploited that until Angel wanted to cum. Xander felt the rise in his own cock as he took Angel's head in his mouth and began to allow his relaxed throat to take the large cock and, as Angel began to squirm, the load that waited to pour forth.

As Angel rebuttoned his shirt and Xander began to look around for the first time in years at his life; an offer was made._ Come to Los Angeles. Come to me._


End file.
